Tears filled my eyes today as one of my pupils, Albina, walked up to me and whispered, "I will never forget you."
I tried my best to be strong in front of them, but the truth is I miss them already. I cannot help but wonder what each of them will become one day, what struggles they will face. I shall pray for them daily - pleading for God to be the Lord of their life. Even if I was here with them, God is the only one to sustain them and bring them joy in life. I must trust His work will continue even as I leave. I have only been called for a short time, but God is alive and active everywhere, always.
Lord, continue to fill my mind with the knowledge of your great love for those who love you. Continue to place a desire in me to please you. Father, fill my heart with a joy that is not circumstantial, but one that lasts through all situations because my greatest need has already been met. Fill me with faith in you, Lord. I am feeling weak and I need you all the more right now.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
I Can Trust
2 Timothy 6:17
“He fulfills the desire of those who fear him”
Psalm 145
“If you then, who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
Luke 11:13
“Know, therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations…”
Deuteronomy 7:9
“He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.”
I Thessalonians 5:24
“If we are faithless, he remains faithful. The saying is trustworthy, for he cannot deny himself.”
2 Timothy 2:13, 11
“Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.”
Hebrews 10:23
I can trust the Lord because He has proven himself faithful. To not be faithful is against His very nature. So many times, I have found myself claiming to trust God IF he provides. This is foolishness. The Lord will provide, for He is faithful. God’s promises do not come with a time frame, therefore I cannot expect for things to happen in my own time frame or even in my own idea of what would be best. How dare I tell the Sustainer of the Universe to do things my way? How dare I present him with “if you provide”? I should not forget that I am the one accountable to Him; The Lord is not accountable to me. He owes me nothing. But in his love and grace, He seeks to provide for my desires.
2 Peter 1:11
And here, he has provided for my greatest need, without me even knowing I had the need of a Savior. I serve a spectacular God!
Friday, July 29, 2011
A Heart Like Yours
Yesterday, one of our pupils, Pumulo, walked up to me during break, handed me a blank piece of paper and said, “Write ‘Ms. McKenzie.’” So, I did. Then, with a smile she said, “Write ‘Thank you for the biscuits.’” I smiled and chuckled at the thought that I was writing my own thank you note. “And, write ‘Thank you for the books.’” I smiled again, but this time with a heart filled to the brim with joy. Her gratitude was evident. Finally, she asked, “Write ‘I love you.’”
Pumulo then went on to copy her thoughts, in the form of my writing, onto another piece of paper. I have received many cards from these children, but this was one hit in me in an unexpected way. It was specific and it expressed to me more than just her gratitude, but I also felt God smiling down on us. It was a very profound moment that I cannot seem to put into words that would make sense. Then, in a very quick motion, without second-motion, she also presented me with a small notebook and barrette. Tears filled my eyes. She has so little and yet here she was quick to give away her belongings and express gratitude for that which she’s been given. Her beautiful smile will be forever etched in my mind.
Father, give me a heart like Pumulo – quick to be full of gratitude and quick to give my prized possessions to others.
Who knew that all it takes sometimes is a peanut-butter cookie and used library books. I have found that God’s love is humble. I came here hoping to make some sort of big impact, but didn’t realize my everyday, small, mundane actions would provide so much to the lives of these students. It points back to my Savior’s life – he came from humble beginnings, lived a humble life and died the most humble of deaths. “He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.” (Isaiah 53:2b)
Father, give me a heart like yours – one that desires to not bring glory to himself but to the name of the Lord. Grow in me a love like yours – one that is shown daily in modest ways.
Pumulo then went on to copy her thoughts, in the form of my writing, onto another piece of paper. I have received many cards from these children, but this was one hit in me in an unexpected way. It was specific and it expressed to me more than just her gratitude, but I also felt God smiling down on us. It was a very profound moment that I cannot seem to put into words that would make sense. Then, in a very quick motion, without second-motion, she also presented me with a small notebook and barrette. Tears filled my eyes. She has so little and yet here she was quick to give away her belongings and express gratitude for that which she’s been given. Her beautiful smile will be forever etched in my mind.
Father, give me a heart like Pumulo – quick to be full of gratitude and quick to give my prized possessions to others.
Who knew that all it takes sometimes is a peanut-butter cookie and used library books. I have found that God’s love is humble. I came here hoping to make some sort of big impact, but didn’t realize my everyday, small, mundane actions would provide so much to the lives of these students. It points back to my Savior’s life – he came from humble beginnings, lived a humble life and died the most humble of deaths. “He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.” (Isaiah 53:2b)
Father, give me a heart like yours – one that desires to not bring glory to himself but to the name of the Lord. Grow in me a love like yours – one that is shown daily in modest ways.
Gratitude
As I observe the impact of the broken and neglected relationships of my students with their parents, I find myself becoming increasingly aware of how quickly I have taken my parents for granted, both their presence and their love for me.
I have a father. I have a father who loves me - who seeks to provide for my daily needs, as well as my future dreams. I have a father who is present and active. I have a father who touches my life with gentle care, never with anger or rage. I have a father who protects me and cannot sleep without the knowledge that I am safe. I have a father who is ALWAYS there for me. I love my Daddy!
I have a mother. I have a mother who cares for my health, for my big and small aches. I have a mother who has been a teacher to me, in life and in academics. I have a mother who lends a listening ear when I don’t even know I need one. I have a mother who comforts. I have a mother who gives without expecting anything in return. I have happiness in my mother. I love my Mom!
I have a father. I have a father who loves me - who seeks to provide for my daily needs, as well as my future dreams. I have a father who is present and active. I have a father who touches my life with gentle care, never with anger or rage. I have a father who protects me and cannot sleep without the knowledge that I am safe. I have a father who is ALWAYS there for me. I love my Daddy!
I have a mother. I have a mother who cares for my health, for my big and small aches. I have a mother who has been a teacher to me, in life and in academics. I have a mother who lends a listening ear when I don’t even know I need one. I have a mother who comforts. I have a mother who gives without expecting anything in return. I have happiness in my mother. I love my Mom!
Friday, July 22, 2011
I'm a Teacher in ZAMBIA!
This past week I had the privilege of teaching Bonnie’s class every day all day. I wish I could say that I was able to present Bonnie with the week off, but she, herself, was very busy. Allow me to explain.
This week and next week are the last two weeks of this term. Zambia’s schools run 3 terms a year with a 3-4 week break in between each term. Because it’s the end of the term, the students have to take exams on the material they’ve learned over the term. Other than these 6 exams, the students have no other quiz/test grades, just classwork completion. So basically, these exams are very important and fairly challenging for the students.
As a result, the last two weeks have been spent reviewing the term’s information with the students. This week, as Bonnie tested the students one-on-one, I continued to review with them. Bonnie has to test one-on-one for two reasons: one, the classroom is about 6’ x 10’ and fits a teacher’s desk, 5 tables and 25 student’s seats. You can imagine how crowded it would be and how tempting it would be for these little ones to glance over at their partner’s paper. Two, most of the students are not able to read, so Bonnie has to read and point to each question and answer to assure the answer they want is circled. Pray for Bonnie – she has been reading the same test 25 times a day. I cannot imagine how mentally draining this could be. Thankfully, we have completed 4 of the tests. Only 2 to go. ☺
As Bonnie tests, I have had the opportunity to teach. I have been challenged, as an educator, more than I could ever imagine. I have been trained with manipulatives, interactive whiteboards, textbooks, movie clips, clipart and even simple paper-and-pencil. I have never been trained in a classroom that forces me to teach 3rd grade material to students who are not able to read. Since they are not able to read and they don’t have their own textbooks, you think I could just verbally teach them the information. Well, I have also never been trained in a classroom of students who are not able to understand my accent, and barely even my language.
This week included a lot of writing the textbook on the board and having the students copy it into their workbook, a lot of “Orlando, stop talking.”, a lot of repetition, a lot of patience. I have found myself crying out to the Lord, wondering how Jesus would have handled a class like this without losing his patience. I wonder how Jesus would have sinlessly persevered even when his human body was exhausted, his voice hoarse and his head full of chalk dust. I know, without a doubt, that he was able to approach any situation without sin, but I found myself in an awesome wonder at the reality of Jesus’ daily life without sin. Every day. No son. I have found myself reflecting more and more on my Savior’s life this week. I am humbled by my Savior’s words: “I am among you as one who serves” (Luke 22: 27). “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28).
I serve an amazing God. Each day I remind myself that I have been given a mission that I cannot take lightly. I only have five short weeks here to share as much of Christ’s love as possible. Each moment is to be for Him. And even as my return home comes near, each day, each moment at home should be a testimony of the love I’ve received from my Savior.
This week and next week are the last two weeks of this term. Zambia’s schools run 3 terms a year with a 3-4 week break in between each term. Because it’s the end of the term, the students have to take exams on the material they’ve learned over the term. Other than these 6 exams, the students have no other quiz/test grades, just classwork completion. So basically, these exams are very important and fairly challenging for the students.
As a result, the last two weeks have been spent reviewing the term’s information with the students. This week, as Bonnie tested the students one-on-one, I continued to review with them. Bonnie has to test one-on-one for two reasons: one, the classroom is about 6’ x 10’ and fits a teacher’s desk, 5 tables and 25 student’s seats. You can imagine how crowded it would be and how tempting it would be for these little ones to glance over at their partner’s paper. Two, most of the students are not able to read, so Bonnie has to read and point to each question and answer to assure the answer they want is circled. Pray for Bonnie – she has been reading the same test 25 times a day. I cannot imagine how mentally draining this could be. Thankfully, we have completed 4 of the tests. Only 2 to go. ☺
As Bonnie tests, I have had the opportunity to teach. I have been challenged, as an educator, more than I could ever imagine. I have been trained with manipulatives, interactive whiteboards, textbooks, movie clips, clipart and even simple paper-and-pencil. I have never been trained in a classroom that forces me to teach 3rd grade material to students who are not able to read. Since they are not able to read and they don’t have their own textbooks, you think I could just verbally teach them the information. Well, I have also never been trained in a classroom of students who are not able to understand my accent, and barely even my language.
This week included a lot of writing the textbook on the board and having the students copy it into their workbook, a lot of “Orlando, stop talking.”, a lot of repetition, a lot of patience. I have found myself crying out to the Lord, wondering how Jesus would have handled a class like this without losing his patience. I wonder how Jesus would have sinlessly persevered even when his human body was exhausted, his voice hoarse and his head full of chalk dust. I know, without a doubt, that he was able to approach any situation without sin, but I found myself in an awesome wonder at the reality of Jesus’ daily life without sin. Every day. No son. I have found myself reflecting more and more on my Savior’s life this week. I am humbled by my Savior’s words: “I am among you as one who serves” (Luke 22: 27). “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28).
I serve an amazing God. Each day I remind myself that I have been given a mission that I cannot take lightly. I only have five short weeks here to share as much of Christ’s love as possible. Each moment is to be for Him. And even as my return home comes near, each day, each moment at home should be a testimony of the love I’ve received from my Savior.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Take My Life
The song of my heart recently:
Take my life and let it be
consecrated, Lord, to thee.
Take my hands and let them move
at the impulse of your love.
Take my feet and let them be
swift and beautiful for thee.
Take my voice and let me sing
always, only for my King.
Take my silver and my gold
not a mite would I withhold.
Take my moments and my days
let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my will, it is Thine own;
It should be thy royal throne.
Take my heart, it is Thine own;
It shall be they royal throne.
Take my life and let it be
consecrated Lord to thee.
Please be praying the my eyes would be open to opportunities to better serve these children and ultimately the Lord over these next two weeks.
Take my life and let it be
consecrated, Lord, to thee.
Take my hands and let them move
at the impulse of your love.
Take my feet and let them be
swift and beautiful for thee.
Take my voice and let me sing
always, only for my King.
Take my silver and my gold
not a mite would I withhold.
Take my moments and my days
let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my will, it is Thine own;
It should be thy royal throne.
Take my heart, it is Thine own;
It shall be they royal throne.
Take my life and let it be
consecrated Lord to thee.
Please be praying the my eyes would be open to opportunities to better serve these children and ultimately the Lord over these next two weeks.
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